Score: 3

"Worst "Brain Teaser" I have ever played."

submission: Brain Age Test

date: October 3, 2009

I actually felt myself getting dumber as I played this.

The music was the most annoying I have ever heard in a game.

The instructions were vague, I had to restart the game twice because I did not understand what was expected of me.

The final screen made my brain explode:
"If your actual age is less than your brain age your mind is in great shape!"
"If your brain age is older than your actual age, you just need a little work."
"Exercising your brain by playing games will help improve your mind."

Nice Engrish.

Score: 10

"I loved it!!!!!"

submission: 8-Bit Reading Rainbow

date: September 29, 2006

Just goes to show you don't have to make a flash animation pushing 5 megs to be entertaining and worthy of a high vote.

FIFEN!!!

Score: 10

"ZOMG MUST.....OBEY!!!!1"

submission: Noodle Salad

date: August 15, 2006

YOU ALL SHALL BOW DOWN AND SING HIS PRAYSES, FOR TEH KING OF THE PORTAL HAS SPOKEN!

FIFEN!!!

Score: 10

"Best...Game...Ever!"

submission: Demon Girl

date: January 18, 2006

Enough Said.

Score: 10

"In A Word...Phenomenal!"

submission: Pallid Fingers 2

date: December 20, 2005

Not only is this going on my favorite submissions list, but I will be ranking this very high on my voting list at the end of December.

Common gripes from reviewers:
"Too long" "Not Enough Like Salad Fingers" "Too Much Like Salad Fingers" "Too Much Talking" "Long Pauses, Not Enough Talking" "Dry Humor" "I Don't Get It"....etc. etc.

Allow me to address these reviews, individually.

"Too Long" -You have a short attention span, take some Ritalin and shut the fuck up.

"Not Enough Like Salad Fingers" -It's not a direct parody of Salad Fingers, it uses a mixture of original characters and some created by David Firth. Think of this as a deeper exploration into world of Salad Fingers with dark overtones.

"Too Much Like Salad Fingers" -It is nothing "like" Salad Fingers, this is very much original. However, you will need to see Salad Fingers to understand most of the references.

"Too Much Talking" -Reviewers that are obsessed with Salad Fingers are not used to the characters making mouth words. The dialogue of Pallid Fingers 2 is very well written and is the glue that holds this masterpiece together.

"Long Pauses, Not Enough Talking" -The pauses are perfectly placed and add greatly to the humor of the piece. Reviewers who complain about long pauses have a short attention span and should refer to my comments above.

"Dry Humor" -Go watch a LegendaryFrog submission, Pallid Fingers 2 is not for you...you couch humping homo.

"I Don't Get It" -Watch ALL of David Firth's submissions, then Watch Pallid Fingers 1. Now watch Pallid Fingers 2. If you still don't "get it" you should turn off your computer and never visit Newgrounds again.

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I have watched Pallid Fingers 2 more than 10 times and it keeps getting better every time.

This submission represents countless hours of sweat and frustration from the artists involved in its creation and I think it deserves to be on the front page.

Score: 4

"Don't Take This The Wrong Way..."

submission: Final Fantasy VII Part 1

date: December 20, 2005

I can see that you have put alot of time and effort into this RPG. The problem is, Square Enix put alot of time and effort into FFVII a long time ago. I'm not saying this flash is beating a dead horse, but is trying to walk down the same path as the dead horse.

A good example, I loved Final Fantasy A+, it still resides as the #2 of all time on NG.

Your flash tries to recreate FF7 with a fairly slow and unintuitive interface.

I guess my advice would be to find a different path with your creation and take it.

Score: 6

"Decent Submission."

submission: Undestructable

date: August 16, 2005

Looks like I protected it:
Thanks for voting, bluntedboy!
Your experience points gave you a voting power of 7.14 votes. Your blam and protection points gave you an additional 34% of your experience power, meaning that your total vote power was worth 9.57 votes!

The more experience points you have combined with BLAM and PROTECTION points, the more your vote is worth!

You're the saviour! You are one of a number of people who have helped keep this entry in the Portal!

Your experience points have been deposited already today. Thanks for doing the overtime!

Score: 4

"Needs tweaking..."

submission: Life of an Emo Caveman

date: June 29, 2005

I actually laughed at the caveman slitting his wrists scene. Good work, needs some minor tweaking, maybe some sound effects, dialouge, and could be alot better.

Overall decent submission.

Score: 1

"Christ, the credits lasted longer than the film..."

submission: Legend of Phil (episode2)

date: June 5, 2005

Art by Philippe Auguste, Animation by Philippe Auguste, etc. etc.

The only animation I saw was the guy with squid hair, the rest seemed to lack...movement?

If this submission was meant to parody really BAD japanese animation, then you succeeded.

No plot whatsoever.

Score: 7

"Decent..."

submission: About Me

date: May 17, 2005

It looks like you put alot of effort into this, it could use some minor tweaking, but overall it deserves to pass judgement.

Being born on November 10th has its advantages. I voted 5 on your movie cause that's my birthday too.

Keep up the good work.